Nightmare
by BlueKitsunebi
Summary: She had always seen him through a filter of light, only choosing to see his pride and nobility. However, now that the filter had been removed, she could see clearly now. Yes, she saw him for who he really was. He was just a boy. Still a vulnerable child who secretly cried for his mother's embrace. Three -shot, for Sasusaku month 2015 under the prompt of 'Trauma'.
1. Nightmare

Sakura never expected to have to share a tent with Naruto and Sasuke. It just wasn't something that tended to happen. But after a little 'accident' involving a fight between her two comrades, and a fast running river, her luck had run dry. Naturally, whenever a mission would last over a day, as the only female in team seven, she was entitled to her own tent. And yet, here she was, sandwiched between her two teammates, lying wide awake, listening to the crickets in the forest and the rhythmic breathing of the two boys, alongside the rustles of Naruto as he tossed and turned in unrest. Of course she would've allowed herself to sleep hours ago in ordinary circumstances, however she was terrified that Sasuke would wake first and see a trail of saliva trickling from her mouth, or even be able to smell her morning breath.

She shuddered at the thought, knowing that she wouldn't be able to face Sasuke ever again, should he see her in such a terrible state. _No._ She thought. She wanted to last the night. She _would_ last the night.

Turning onto her back in her sleeping bag, she folded her arms over her chest and stared at the ceiling of the tent. Despite her strong will to stay awake, her eyelids refused to cooperate, and slowly began to slide closed.

 _No!_

Sakura jolted awake, shaking her head frantically to dispel all traces of sleep. Refusing to give in was much more trying on her patience than she originally apprehended. It was as if, all of a sudden, everything around her was teasing her; the padded mattress of her sleeping bag seemed unusually soft, the ceiling of the tent was plain and monotonous in its dull green colour, the breathing of her fellow teammates was like a gentle lullaby.

A lullaby with unusually harsh undertones

Well that was strange. Raising her head she noticed that the breathing from her right – Sasuke's side – had gradually become erratic and pained in nature, like shallow gasps. How long had he been breathing like this? She must've been falling asleep, if she hadn't even noticed the choking noises. She dismissed the thought as irrelevant. Right at that moment, her priority was Sasuke.

Curious, she turned to her right side with a rustle, staring at the back of Sasuke's head peeking from his sleeping bag. Her jade eyes narrowed in on the tufts of ebony hair at the nape of his neck, stringy with perspiration that shone slick on his reddened skin. It was clear as day to her that he was currently suffering in the midst of a nightmare, and even though she liked Sasuke romantically, she loved him dearly as a friend. Sakura grit her teeth indecisively. She wanted to help. No, she _had_ to help. Sasuke surely wouldn't want her help, and would shrug her off as though she were a clinging baby monkey. But she was a caring, nurturing person by nature, even if inner Sakura would beg to differ, and to sit around all night watching as her precious friend, teammate and love was tormented in his dreams, was not an option.

As silent as possible, she carefully unzipped her sleeping bag, before slowly shuffling across the floor of the tent and toward Sasuke's form. Approaching ever closer to him, she steadied herself with an arm on either side of him and peered over to survey his face. Brow crumpled in a constant frown and face glistening with nervous sweat, Sasuke trembled and writhed on his side, haunted by the ghosts of his clan. Under his breath, almost inaudible to her ears, she just about made out some of his desperate ramblings.

"Kaa-san." he choked out, his voice barely escaping his lips "Please not Kaa-san."

Suddenly, Sakura's breath caught in her throat, as she couldn't believe the sight before her. This was something, a fragment of him that had been lodged so deeply inside, that was resurfacing right in front of her eyes.

A small bead of wetness oozed from the innermost corner of Sasuke's eye, collecting within the hollow of his skin, only to trickle across the arc of his nose and drip from the bridge. His lips contorted into a grimace of raw despair, as his eyes darted to and fro under his eyelids.

She was stunned into paralysis. Her mind had always painted a perfect portrait of Sasuke, his physical and emotional strength immeasurable. She had always seen him through a filter of light, only choosing to see his pride and nobility. However, now that the filter had been removed, she could see clearly now. Yes, she saw him for who he really was. He was just a boy. Still a vulnerable child who secretly cried for his mother's embrace.

His tears triggered something strong to wrench in her chest, twisting her heart painfully, until she thought it could break no further. The sight in front of her was tragic.

It was utterly, and heartbreakingly tragic.

Without making too much noise, she unzipped his sleeping bag, hoping that the loss of heat would cool his warm skin. And with care not to wake him, she placed her small hands around him, gently lifting his head onto her lap. As he stirred, she bit her lip, rolling him onto his back, but luckily he didn't wake. He must've been in deep sleep, she noted, for him not to wake at the slightest noise or contact. Normally, his shinobi instincts would activate the moment something brushed his sleeve, and he would immediately spring to life.

His skin was much too hot against her cool fingers, as she began smoothing damp locks of hair away from his forehead. Of course, she knew that it would be cripplingly embarrassing should he wake now, to find his head in her lap, and her hands prodding at his face. However, she just couldn't sit and watch him plead for his mother. It wouldn't be right. Even if she couldn't provide she same love that he shared with his family, she could at least, soothe away the temporary trauma.

As she continued to brush his hair back from his forehead, she noticed the way that the lines in his expression gradually faded. A spike of pleasure shot through her heart, at his visible reaction to her help. She was helping him, and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Although most of the lines in his face had disappeared, her eyes flickered to his brow which remained crumpled in distress. In defiance to finally be of help, she reached out two fingers to flatten the cooling skin.

Suddenly, as her eyes shifted back to the rest of his face, her heart juddered to a stop. The small smile that had made its way to her face quickly receded in her panic. She blanched completely.

A pair of tired black eyes stared evenly back into hers, confused and irritated by the mere sight of her.

"Sakura." He spoke in a quiet mumble, calmly and patiently , as though he were talking to a small child, "What are you doing with my face?"

Sakura couldn't breathe. Oh, how she wished that she could, because at that point she could only gasp and choke like a fish out of water. Her face flushed wildly with pink, as she barely retained the urge to scream and throw his head across the tent.

He sighed, yet made no attempt to remove himself from her lap. "Sakura, are you harassing me in my sleep?"

Shocked and humiliated, she shook her head adamantly, raising both arms in surrender "No! No, no, no, I was just…" She trailed off.

"You were just?" When she didn't respond, he frowned, puzzled and exhausted, before continuing as if giving her a lecture, "Sakura, I don't appreciate people stroking me when I'm sleeping."

Her blush deepened to crimson, as she protested, "No, you're wrong!"

Sakura's hands slapped to her mouth, when behind them, there sounded a rustle of a sleeping bag as Naruto stirred restlessly. Sasuke winced, at the unexpected noise, his eye twitching in apprehension. They were both fortunate that he was such a deep sleeper, as it would be miserable for both of them, Sasuke in particular, if their teammate were to witness such an awkward moment.

Turning his eyes back to Sakura, he gave her a questioning look.

Of course, he was aware of the fact that he should probably move off of her, however, as strange as the feeling was, he felt at ease resting on her. For the moment that he had been conscious before he opened his eyes, he had quite enjoyed the soothing feeling of her fingers stroking his hair. And within that moment, he had been shocked to find memories of his mother resurfacing. As a child, whenever he ran, wailing from nightmares, into his parent's room, she had done something similar. So at that moment, with his head on Sakura's lap, he battled with his reluctance to end the brief feeling of nostalgia. Even if he was utterly out of his comfort zone, a small buried shred of his heart enjoyed the close proximity of another human.

Sakura gulped, "You-you were having a nightmare…"

"Hn." He replied, with a curt nod.

"I was awake, and…erm…" She hesitated, unsure whether to tell him what she had heard and seen.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at her, a clear indication for her to cut to the chase.

She fidgeted anxiously, playing with her fingertips, "Y-you were crying…"

His eyes widened a little, and he hissed under his breath at the sudden blow to his pride. He shouldn't cry. Crying was weakness, and his father told him never to cry. Uchihas never cry. Uchihas never show weakness. Weakness is failure.

Sakura, noticing his steadily growing irritation, was hesitant to continue, however the words slipped out of her mouth before she could control them. "You were c-calling out for your mother."

Against her thighs, she felt Sasuke stiffen considerably, before he lifted himself off of her, and sat on the floor of the tent, facing away from her. With wide green eyes, she watched curiously as he seemed to consider something for a moment. Maybe she shouldn't have mentioned it. She should've kept quiet. But it was too late now. The words were already out.

Slowly, Sasuke shifted from his spot and climbed back into his sleeping bag, without even the slightest glance at her. Lying with his back toward her, he mumbled, "Go to sleep, Sakura."

She paused for a minute, uncertain of whether to ask if he were okay, but she realised that within five minutes, she had not only hurt his pride, but sliced open his scar tissue. Her head hung glumly and her eyes dimmed as she crawled beneath the cover of her sleeping bag, zipping herself back in.

She had only wanted to help him, relieve some of the pain even if it were only for a few seconds. But all she had done was resurface the pain that he had worked hard to push away for so long. Tears welled up in her eyes as she realised how stupid she had been, to believe that she could ease the pain of losing one's family. That she could soothe a traumatised boy who just wanted his mother. Of course she couldn't. She was just a teammate. Not even a friend.

Sakura found that crying helped to bring about sleep. Her previous attempts to stay awake all night seemed pointless if she was just a teammate to him. As her tears soaked the fabric beneath her, cold and wet against her cheek, her eyes grew heavy as she slipped away from consciousness.

But, as she was just drifting off, on the fringes between sleep and wakefulness, she heard something soft and quiet. Dismissing it as her imagination tormenting her, mocking her, she ignored the words that had briefly made her heart clench in her chest, and finally slipped into slumber. And yet, in her dreams, she still heard those words playing over and over in her head.

 _"Sakura, thank you."_

* * *

I had to write this quickly so I apologise for any mistakes in grammar or spelling. I know it's not very imaginative, but if you like, leave a review and let me know what you think :) Thank you for reading.


	2. Guilt

The next morning, Sasuke awoke before his teammates, in a rather grumpy state of mind. After having opened his eyes in the middle of the night with his head lying somewhere where he'd been pretty sure he hadn't rested it earlier, his pride had kept him from a decent night's sleep. It was disgraceful to allow Sakura to see that side of him. Gritting his teeth as he sat, cross legged, on his sleeping bag, he reminded himself that he was an Uchiha. Uchiha men don't cry for their mothers. Pathetic.

And to allow Sakura to see that was a stupid mistake. Completely and utterly stupid. Sakura. Gazing at her curled form within her sleeping bag, he reflected on the night before. In his dream, he had relived the blood, the fear, the betrayal of that night. Who would've thought that even six years later, the agonised screams of his fellow clan members, his relatives, still sounded in his ears. It was endless.

Usually, he would wake swearing and panting, still replaying the nightmare for hours later. However, it was a strange feeling when the screams faded, having been replaced by the sensation of his hair being stroked away from his sweat slicked forehead. At that moment, the image of his mother had flashed behind his lids, evoking a wave of nostalgia in his heart. He thought he was home. It felt like his mother, except that he had opened his tired eyes to find Sakura hovering above him, smiling to herself, and running her fingers through his hair affectionately.

Sasuke's dark eyes stared at the pink strands of her hair, noting the array of colours that reflected from the pink, as the morning sunlight filtered through the ceiling of the tent. Observing how her chest rose and fell with each breath, guilt swirled at the pit of his stomach. She was so full of _life._ His life was tainted by death, and he had killed some of her life the night before. He wasn't deaf, or hard of hearing. The tent was quiet, and he had heard her sobbing loud and clear.

He sat in thought for at least half an hour, until Sakura finally stirred and woke. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she began to stare at him, as if contemplating whether he was still annoyed at her for the events of the night before.

 _This must be rather awkward for him…_ she thought, biting her lower lip. Flicking her eyes away from him, she spoke nervously "G-good morning, Sasuke-kun."

In his sleeping bag, Naruto turned and snorted, saliva trickling from his gaping mouth. Both teammates glanced at their friend with scrunched up noses, before turning back to each other. For a brief second, their eyes met, jade clashing with black, as Sakura's heart jumped a little in her chest.

Sasuke nodded curtly, with an "Aa", before exiting the small tent, returning minutes later holding a tree branch and proceeding to poke Naruto awake with it.

In actuality, he had intended to get some fresh air and free himself from the claustrophobia that engulfed him inside. It was strange, he thought, that somehow the dynamic between Sakura and him had shifted slightly, like an unstable tectonic plate. The air between them was changed. Unfamiliar, now that he had accidentally revealed to her part of him that he intended to remain hidden from everyone. And Sakura, well, she wasn't exactly the same in his eyes either. Not bigger or smaller, less or more important, but just different. Deep in the back of his mind, he was perfectly aware of how his apathy to her feelings hurt her, even if she refused to show the pain that she felt because of loving him.

He was always hurting her. Even without realising it, he would twist one of the many knives that he himself had plunged into her chest. He paid no attention. It wasn't important. Itachi…revenge was his main priority, and Sakura's feelings would have to wait. For how long, who knows? After his revenge? Maybe...

He had frowned at the thought, his gut clenching inside him. She had never looked disheartened for long, never cried at rejection, so he just assumed that she knew that his mind was purely focused on Itachi's death. He assumed that she would understand.

And yet, that was the first time that she had let the façade slip. It was the first and only time that she had shown exactly how much the wounds he inflicted burned her pale skin.

Shaking his head, he finally realised that whether she understood or not, his aloofness would still hurt. After last night, she probably thought that he was ungrateful for her efforts. No. That wasn't true. He was grateful. For everything, he was grateful. In a few seconds, she had eased his pain and brought him home, and he was grateful. Although he didn't quite know what she was to him yet, she was still an important person whom he cared deeply for.

Fists clenched, he had spied out a fallen branch lying within the grooves of tree roots, grabbed it, and re-entered the tent in hopes of distracting his mind from the bubbling acid that plagued his stomach. He pointed the end of the branch at Naruto's cheek, resting it against the skin, before prodding harshly, as Naruto groaned in slumber.

 _Yes_ , Sasuke thought as Naruto attempted to swat away the pesky branch, _this is a good distraction…it's very satisfying._

Sakura watched on warily as Sasuke pokes eventually became harsh jabs which scratched Naruto's apricot skin. Normally, she'd grin at the sight, but today she felt somewhat drained by the constant bickering between the two boys. After so much monotony, she figured that anything would become tedious.

After an extra hard jab courtesy of Sasuke, Naruto's eyes snapped open. He scratched his blonde head, peering around until his eyes focused on Sasuke stood above him clutching the branch. Glaring at his rival, he grumbled, "Teme, what's the big idea?"

Sasuke smirked triumphantly, "Get up, Dobe. Everyone else is awake but you."

Naruto opened his mouth to retort with another insult, but he couldn't hold back the yawn that stretched across his features. "I'm not a Dobe, and if everyone's awake, then where's Kakashi sensei?"

The other boy shrugged, "Hn. Who knows? Probably still asleep."

Naruto's bright blue eyes widened, and he jumped up from his sleeping bag, growling at Sasuke. "Bastard! You woke me up for nothing! I deserve more sleep than this!"

"Hn." Sasuke turned from the screaming blonde, throwing the branch through the entrance of the tent. "Sakura and I are sick of watching you drool all over yourself. I woke you up out of pity."

Standing on his sleeping bag, fists clenched, Naruto protested "I don't drool! I'm a graceful sleeper! You're the one who drools and has morning breath that stinks out the tent and makes Sakura-chan cry."

Sasuke's heart skipped a beat. All of a sudden, the air inside the tent seemed suffocating. The tent was a black hole, forcing his air back out of his lungs. The hairs on the back of his neck rose in response to his paranoia, as muscles froze, and his breathing faltered.

 _Was Naruto awake last night?_ He thought. _Did he hear us?_

Dark eyes shifted over to Sakura, who kneeled on her sleeping bag, staring at Naruto with eyes like bright green saucers. Clearly, she was wondering the same thing. Suddenly, her eyes met his, and he jumped. He quickly turned away from her, clenching his fists at his sides, whilst Naruto looked at the pair of them, intrigued.

"Yo."

An unexpected voice shattered the silence between the trio, and all three turned to look toward the open entrance of the tent. Kakashi, clothed and fingers of one hand grasping at his little orange book, peered inside, his eyes crinkled with a smile that they couldn't see. The jounin raised his free hand in good morning, but hesitated upon noticing the uncomfortable aura inside the tent.

Sighing as he lowered his hand, he spoke "I hope to leave soon, as personally I'd actually like to get back home and eat real food." He gestured behind him at the empty tins of mushy, tasteless non-perishables that lay beside the remnants of last night's fire, before adding "You have fifteen minutes to wake up a bit and pack your things."

"But there's a river nearby, we need time to wash and fifteen minutes is nothing!" Naruto exclaimed.

Kakashi shook his head almost despairingly "You can wash when we get back. I'm not hanging around any longer."

Without another word, Kakashi disappeared, most likely having returned to his own tent, leaving the three teammates in quiet. For a few seconds, the only sound in the tent was the wisps of their breathing, shallow and anxious. Naruto's gaze shifted between his two closest friends, having already noticed that something was going on between them. _Maybe Sasuke-teme rejected her again…_ he thought, his eyes narrowing at Sasuke. However, the theory didn't quite add up. _If he rejected her, then why is the bastard acting so quiet?_

Suddenly, he gasped as an thought came to him, and his two teammate's heads snapped up at the unexpected words. "Sakura-chan, did you kiss Teme or something?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth, as he heard Sakura's breath leave her lungs. Naruto _did_ notice that something was different. Maybe he shouldn't have underestimated the observation skills of his knuckle-brained friend. Although, it was a relief to Sasuke that Naruto obviously hadn't overheard them last night, and had only picked up on their most recent behaviour. A few feet away from him, Sakura blushed beetroot red.

"N-Naruto baka! Of course not!" She spluttered, her face tilted toward the ground in embarrassment and disappointment.

Naruto leaned toward her in thought, "Hmmm…Then why do you look so depressed? And why does Teme look like he wants to kill everyone?"

Sakura quickly shook her head, refusing to answer, whilst Sasuke shot a venomous glare at Naruto, who gulped and jumped away in fright. If looks could kill, he would already have entered that decomposition process. Sasuke was ready to kill, or at the very least, knock Naruto unconscious, should he keep up the string of questions.

In silence, the three began packing their backpacks, collecting their weapons and dismantling the single tent. As they worked, Sasuke couldn't help as his gaze kept shifting in Sakura's direction. Maybe it was because he didn't want her spilling everything to Naruto, or maybe, he thought, it was because he felt guilty at the sight of Sakura's dismay. People were difficult to read. That much was obvious. But what was more obvious was Sakura's mood. Fingers grasping at the zip of her backpack, Sakura yanked it closed, pressing her lips into a grim line. Sasuke noticed, as he observed her movements, that her eyes lacked their usual bright glimmer, and her general aura seemed to be devoid of any light. She reminded him, quite literally, like a dull dusty old doll, past its best days. Like the old, half broken doll that sat on his mother's vanity table back in the compound, collecting dirt like everything else there.

His stomach churned uncomfortably at the thought, as they finally set off walking on the dirt path leading them toward Konoha. Like usual, Naruto had stormed on ahead, and Sasuke lingered at the back, having separated himself from his comrades. However, he noted that Sakura, rather than following him like a loyal pink puppy, decided to loom around the edges of the group, not particularly far away, yet distancing herself from her team. Distancing herself from him.

"What did you do this time?" A low voice murmured beside Sasuke, who turned to find Kakashi, staring down at him with a single, lazy eye.

Sasuke huffed, shoving both hands in his shorts pockets mumbling "I don't know what you're talking about."

Kakashi's gaze lingered on Sasuke for a moment, before lifting to focus on Sakura, whom trudged along, ignoring everyone. The jounin sighed, before continuing in a lackadaisical manner, "Sakura hasn't been herself all morning." He shrugged, "Naturally I assumed that you would have something to do with it. I figured that you said something particularly nasty, or maybe you rejected her again."

Sasuke hissed under his breath, "It's none of your business, stupid old man."

"Twenty seven isn't old." Kakashi uttered under his breath. "You've been acting strange yourself; you're even more antisocial than normal. Guilt perhaps?"

Sasuke quietly stopped in the middle of the path, glaring at his teacher threateningly like a dangerous dog. Up ahead, Naruto took no notice of the commotion at the back of the group, never even thinking to turn around and see. But much to Sasuke's surprise – and Kakashi's – even Sakura failed to acknowledge Sasuke's sudden aggressiveness toward Kakashi.

The jounin peered down at the boy who scowled ferociously at him, releasing an apathetic "Oh? You're going to glare at me until I get the message…I get it."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

His teacher turned to completely face him, speaking lowly in a serious tone, "Sasuke. Trying to scare me off isn't going to do anything about your feelings of guilt. If you've done something that you regret, then you need to apologise. Standing around like a miserable grouch isn't going to make the situation disappear."

"Shut up." Sasuke hissed, before resuming walking along the dirt path, leaving Kakashi alone and sighing in defeat at the retreating back of his arrogant pupil.

On return to Konoha, there was a stiffness within Team 7, with only Naruto whom seemed to be completely in the dark about. They reported the details of their mission back to Tsunade, whose amber eyes shifted repeatedly between Sasuke and Sakura, as if sensing the distortion in the air surrounding them. On his way home, Sasuke was disturbed by how silent it was. It was the same road. The same path. He was always alone when he walked home. The only difference, he realise, was that there was no 'want to go on a date Sasuke-kun?' No 'want to walk home with me Sasuke-kun."

It was unnerving, how lonely he felt just because Sakura had stopped annoying him all of a sudden. The road appeared emptier, the weather darker, and his stomach fluttered more than usual. Everything had changed.

Upon entering his apartment, he immediately collapsed onto the floor, arms and legs spread like a starfish. He wasn't sure why, or what exactly he was doing on the floor, but it just felt right. It was the only thing that had felt right throughout the whole mission. With half lidded black eyes, he watched the ceiling, tracing the pattern of the uneven white paint swirls with his gaze. Lines of white and beige interwove together, becoming transparent and patchy in places. Clearly, the decorator had intended to create the effect of soothing circles, but it ended up looking as though they were running out of white paint. If he had decorated the ceiling himself, he knew for a fact that he wouldn't have made such a crappy job of it.

How long he lay on the floorboards, he wasn't sure, but the time seemed to fly by in his eyes, because somehow, when his eyes finally parted with the ceiling and moved to the window, he was met with the usual blackness of night. The sky was cold black, with a navy hue, and littered with stars, as he realised, with mild surprise, that it had been much longer than he initially estimated. Hours, even.

When his vision had snapped back to the paint swirls, his mind was finally set. He would have to ignore his pride. Ignore the voice that told him to keep his mind away from anything other than Itachi's death. It was inevitably going to be difficult for him, and part of him advised him to back away whilst he can. However, his mother always kindly told him and his brother as they grew bigger and stronger, to be gentle with girls, and that included never hurting their feelings. He could almost still hear her soft, musical voice.

" _Sasuke"_ she had said as lovingly as possible, when he had returned home on valentines day with handfuls of bright pink and red cards. " _You're growing up to be such a handsome young man. One day, you'll definitely have so many admirers that you'll be breaking girls hearts. Promise me Sasuke, that when you let them down, you'll do it gently."_

He had frowned in response, not quite understanding why he couldn't just say it bluntly and let them deal with it. " _But Why?_ "

" _Because some girls are very sensitive._ " She had smiled at him kindly with large dark eyes, and kissed the corner of his forehead " _Love can be a very painful experience, and it's never right to hurt someone's feelings, especially when they're in love with you._ "

The image shattered with a quick shake of his head, although her words rang repeatedly in his brain.

 _No!_ He couldn't think about that. That was all in the past. It was an unattainable dream.

With a grumble under his breath, he propped himself onto his elbows, and lifted his body off the floor. Drunk cheering somewhere imprecise in the distance interrupted the otherwise peaceful night. No lights lit the streets below, as Sasuke perched on the edge of his window, before launching himself onto the nearest rooftop.

* * *

I was convinced by my only reviewer, to extend this past a short one shot, so I'll be making it a three-shot. I also didn't re-read this, so it you spot a mistake or typo or something, let me know and I'll fix it. Otherwise, thank you for reading xx


	3. Warmth

**A/N: The third and final instalment to Nightmare. It's so surprising how long this took me, especially with an unending headache, so again, if i've made mistakes, I apologise. I do try to read everything over, but it's difficult to notice inconsistencies when it's your own writing. Not to mention, these chapters seem to be increasing dramatically in length. Sasuke may be a little OOC because honestly, I can't really imagine this ever happening because he's just too standoffish and aloof. But I've tried to make him still...you know,** ** _him._**

 **I'm not surprised if nobody reads my little notes, but once more, thank you very very very very much for reading xx And maybe, could I possibly shyly and awkwardly ask for a review because I love hearing your views.**

Everything is cold. Sasuke is cold.

The thin curtains swayed, brushing against the faded wallpaper of Sakura's bedroom. It was a particularly chilly night. So much so, that the breeze from the balcony made the hairs on her bare neck prickle.

With one last stroke of her hair, she placed her hairbrush back on her vanity table and rubbed the goosebumps on her arms. Cold is everywhere. Everything is cold. Cold had swept across her legs under her flannel pyjama pants, biting the naked skin it could find. Sasuke is cold, and maybe she should be cold too.

Immediately, she became aware of something warm and wet sliding down the skin of her cheeks. Tears. She was crying. For him? For his mother? For the Uchiha massacre? Or, more detestably, for herself? At the thought, she shook her head in denial, as it would be dreadfully selfish of her. Sasuke's pain, she knew, was far greater than hers and even attempting to compare it would be ridiculous. The butchering of not only Sasuke's family, but his entire clan by the one person whom he treasured and trusted above all else in his world could never be paralleled to her greedy need for approval.

Biting her bottom lip, she uttered under her breath "Okay Sakura. No more tears now. Don't be a cry baby."

The floorboards creaked as she padded barefoot over to the balcony and pulled the sliding doors closed, with a dull click of the lock.

But it still hurt. There was no denying it. Her efforts to remain selfless were fruitless, and there was no way that she could ignore it, that desperate desire for some recognition, even just as a teammate. All she really wanted, deep down, underneath the giggles and sneaky glances, was to be recognised as an important comrade. His friend.

That would be nice. To have Sasuke as a valuable friend, and maybe finally be able to see eye to eye with him.

With a rustle of sheets, she slipped into bed, burying herself within the chill of the duvet. Beds are supposed to be warm. Even curled up into a ball, like a hedgehog on a roadside, she was cold. Everything is cold. Sasuke is cold. The tent was cold, back then.

Her toes clenched, having failed to suppress a shiver, as she reflected back on the little incident of Sasuke's nightmare. Sasuke, whether he was angry at her or not, it was impossible to tell. Who could ever know what thoughts ran through his head on a daily basis? But he had appeared so awkward, the morning after. Ashamed, and embarrassed, he had avoided talk or even eye contact with her. He had been so reserved, more so than usual. But why? She could understand the grief that he felt after his dream. No, she hadn't experienced the same sorrow firsthand, but it was understandable that he would miss his family. Nobody could blame him, for his suffering, for continuing to bleed from the deep wounds of such a tragedy. It would be impossible to empathise, but she could sympathise, like any human being.

Breathing gently, she closed her eyes, in hope of temporarily forgetting the whole experience, even if only for one night. Sasuke was, at the very least, annoyed that she had meddled in his private affairs, and invaded his personal bubble. Because of course, she thought bitterly, how dare she offer to ease his burden for him. How dare she try to help him. Eyes still shut, she snickered at the thought. Yes. That's definitely what Sasuke would think. He would uphold his arrogant, prideful demeanour, even in his current state of embarrassment.

But she knew better. She knew that, if she were to reach out, stripping those papery layers like an artichoke, at the very core of his being, she would find a very innocent and vulnerable little boy, who'd just happened to become estranged on an unfortunate path. And it was at that moment, when she had glimpsed at the boy inside him, that Sakura had decided that she sincerely loved that part of him. In fact, she believed that maybe she'd even fallen a little deeper for him.

Suddenly, there were three sharp knocks against the glass doors.

Sakura's eyes snapped open, and she shifted a little in bed, peering warily over her shoulder. Nothing. The entire balcony, as she saw through the glass, was nothing short of undisturbed. Dismissing it as a bird, or her imagination, she rolled back over, her eyes drifting closed once more.

And then it came again. Three knocks, too perfectly timed, too precise to be a mere coincidence, or a hallucination brought about by tiredness .

All traces of sleep vanished, as she threw back her duvet, tiptoeing across the space of her room. At first, when she squinted and peered through the glass, she noticed nothing unusual. Nothing knocked over. No suspicious looking shadows cast against the ground. Absolutely nothing.

Until something large and dark dropped into her vision, falling from above and landing catlike onto her balcony. Her eyes widened, heart racing, and fingers twitching toward her kunai pouch that lay draped over her bedside table. An enemy nin? She was nothing but a genin, and a child at that, so what could they want from her? In her chest, her heart pumped wildly, blasting adrenaline through her veins. Her mother and father were in the next room. If push came to shove, she would have to fight to protect them.

On the balcony, the human shadow stirred, raising its head to meet her terrified gaze, and for one sickening moment, their eyes locked. She couldn't see the eyes, but she knew that they were staring right into hers, as if challenging her to scream.

With gritted teeth, she sprung toward her bedside table, drawing out a kunai with fumbling fingers, and spinning on her heel, raising the blade in self defence. And yet, the shadow nin made no move to enter, instead remaining crouched, and cocking its head to the side. A minute of silence and staring, made it perfectly clear that something wasn't quite right. Sakura's grip on the kunai tightened, as the nin finally began to stand upright, eyes never once leaving hers. She stepped back, as her glass doors slid open, and the shadow stepped inside, closing the door behind it.

One step back became five steps back, until she was pressed against the bedroom door.

Again, a minute passed as they stared each other down in silence. Her lips twitched, as her heart pounded against her rib cage. She really didn't like the way this was going. Maybe she would die here, in that cold room. Cold is everywhere. Sasuke is cold too. Sasuke. If she were to die right there, her biggest regret would be that she lost her chance to blow some warmth across his cold soul. She wanted nothing more than to thaw him out, but now, she would never be able to.

Slowly, the shadowed nin took careful steps toward her, approaching her in an almost methodological predatory manner. There was no noise other than a slight groan of the floorboards, as the nin grew closer and closer. Six feet away…Sakura gasps became faster. Four feet… Her eyes glassed over and blurred, twitching uncontrollably. Three feet…Someone screamed inside her head.

This was it. This was the end, and she's cold. Everything is cold. Cold is everywhere.

"Sakura, why the hell are you raising a kunai at me?"

Her breath hitched in her throat. That voice. That smell. _His_ smell. She would recognise it anywhere. She should've recognised it, but she had been blinded by fear. That wonderful, if slightly irritated sounding voice, and that fresh pine smell with a hint of sweat. The relief in her realisation hit her hard in the chest, washing over her like a tsunami. She wouldn't die. It wasn't the end yet. Not yet. Heart hammering violently in her chest, her grip on the kunai loosened, and it fell with a sharp clatter to the floor.

"Sakura." He repeated quietly and impatiently.

"Sasuke…kun?" she gasped, staring at him with large green eyes.

He nodded, "Hn."

Sakura's pink lower lip quivered as she released a nervous giggle under her breath. Sasuke frowned at the sight of her, wondering if she happened to have a couple of loose screws in her brain. It certainly appeared that way, as her quiet chuckles grew and grew into hysterical laughter.

Sasuke quickly clamped his hand over her laughing mouth. Why she was laughing so much, he couldn't understand at all. Was she trying to wake her family? Did she want him to be discovered? And how on earth was the situation funny? It was only when Sasuke felt hot wetness running down the grooves of his fingers, that realisation finally hit him. She was in shock. Her eyes , when he angled his face to look into them, were wide and shiny , staring at him with a mixture of disbelief, raw horror and relief, as her tiny body trembled and shook.

He could've kicked himself then and there. Should his mother and father be watching this from wherever they were, he could easily see their frowns. All his life, since he was a small boy, his mother in particular, had stressed the importance of being considerate of others, especially when it came to a girl's feelings. No, he hadn't always followed their advice. In fact, he almost never did. But it was only half an hour ago that he had mulled over his mother's words, and yet here he was, doing the exact opposite by stalking after Sakura and scaring her half to death. He realised now, with grimness, that Sakura must've seen him as an enemy, and thought that he was about to slaughter her before continuing to do the same to her precious family.

It wasn't her fault. He knew that. However he still felt a small hint of betrayal that he had been seen associated with something like that. He knew that she couldn't see or recognise him, and so she couldn't be blamed. But he despised the thought of being linked to atrocious things like family murders. His expression darkened as he thought it over, but he was quick to remind himself that he wasn't Itachi. They were two separate beings, and he wasn't capable of such evil.

Sasuke turned back to her, noting how her fists had found their way to his shirt, and her fingers grasped the fabric for dear life, whilst she sobbed and heaved under his hand.

"Sakura." He repeated quietly, capturing her attention. "Just stop crying. I don't want the entire street to wake up." He paused before adding with a scowl, "And I didn't come here to attack you either."

She hiccupped under his palm and lowered her gaze, as her fingers released their iron grip on his shirt. Sensing that all was clear, Sasuke slowly and carefully lifted his hand away from her mouth, ignoring the damp that stained his fingers. He raised his hands, and hesitated for a split second, before taking hold of her shoulders. It was uncharacteristic of him to be so gentle with her, and he seemed to have wandered far beyond his comfort zone, but his mother's words still echoed at the back of his mind. Not to mention, he owed it to Sakura after nearly giving her a heart attack.

Awkwardly, he guided her by the shoulders toward the edge of her bed, pushing her to sit on the edge of the duvet. Thankfully for him, she seemed to have calmed significantly, as her previous bawls were nothing more than a few silent tears and wet sniffles. And he, not quite knowing where exactly to go from that point, sighed and stepped back to lean against the wall.

The two were voiceless, him staring at her with hands in his pockets, and her focusing her eyes on a slight chip in a floorboard, with her clenched fingers pressed against her thighs like a kneading kitten. Somehow, it made their soft breathing startlingly loud, and the claustrophobia from that morning crept along Sasuke's spine once more. He should've known that it would be like this between them. He should've seen it coming, especially after the stiffness inside the tent.

"Did you need something, Sasuke-kun?" she asked, her voice wavering slightly on his name.

Sasuke didn't answer. How could he? In fact, he didn't even understand why he had decided to come. It just felt right. Back then, as he lay on the uncomfortable floor of his apartment, he knew that paying her a visit was the correct thing to do. But now that he had finally made his entrance too loud and too clear, he could bring himself to fathom any words for her. No matter what he did, he always without fail managed to cause her some form of pain, whether it be rejection or fear. The reminder of that grim fact gripped and squeezed at his gut, until he couldn't focus on anything but the uncomfortable sensation that it produced.

"Or," she added, with a sourness that he had never seen before, "did you come here just to frighten me? Because that's definitely what it seems like right now."

His black eyes narrowed, as she bit the words from her mouth as though they were toxic on her tongue. Sakura loved him. She would always love him, as embarrassing as it was to hear himself think about it. When she spoke so bitterly, so _venomously_ to him, the words pricked his skin like senbon needles.

Sakura parted her lips, hesitated, and mumbled "I thought you were an enemy nin. I thought I was going to die."

"Hn." He scoffed. No, he really shouldn't have scoffed, but it was too late to take it back now. "What kind of enemy ninja stops to knock first before assassinating someone?"

 _Oh._ Her memory flickered back to the three sharp knocks on her balcony doors. Of course he would knock, having been raised in a prestigious household where etiquette is preached and expected. The second time he knocked, he must've seen her awake and pressed against the glass. Sasuke likely didn't realise that at the time, he had looked to her like a large black shadow with limbs and eyes, and that she couldn't see his face to recognise him as her teammate.

 _Stupid._ She thought, shivering once more, and pressing her lips into a hard thin line. _Stupid girl._ Everything is cold. _But I'm cold and stupid._

"I'm sorry." She spoke. At the back of his mind, he noted that her voice was bordering on hoarse. "I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun. I'm supposed to be a kunoichi, and yet I didn't even think about it. I couldn't even recognise my own teammate. And I shouldn't have reacted like that. It was all my fault, and I'm really sorry."

"Stop apologising." He glared at her a little. "Tch…Annoying. And I'd rather you assume that everyone is an enemy ninja, than welcome an intruder into your bedroom."

Sakura's head snapped up. Did he know what he was saying to her? In all the time that they had spent as members of Team 7, he had never once seemed at all interested in her feelings enough to mess with them. Her thin pink eyebrows crumpled in confusion, as she listened to his words, watching as his eyes focused on anything but her as he spoke.

He paused for a few seconds, black brows drawn together in careful thought. "If I'd actually been an enemy, and if you hadn't have grabbed that kunai." He glanced once down at the glinting weapon on the floor, eyes sliding over the deathly sharp tip. "Then you really would be dead by now…Your family too."

She was stunned. Amazed, and yet still shocked to her bones. It could have been, she approximated, the most that he'd ever spoken to her. Even though it stung slightly that he was so blunt in his ways, and that he called her annoying, his words were powerful enough to reach and touch her heart. So much so, that a tiny smile graced her features.

"Sasuke-kun." She said, her tone warmer than before. "Why did you actually come here?"

He stiffened in his pose against the wall, muttering almost inaudibly "I don't know."

She arched an eyebrow, before sighing. "It has something to do with your nightmare, doesn't it?"

"Hn." It wasn't a subject that he particularly wanted to talk about, so he decided to keep it simple. Humiliation was not something that he had ever been very fond of.

"Back then." She began, unsure of how to phrase her sentences. "Before I fell entirely asleep, I thought I heard something. I thought I heard you thanking me, but it was probably just my imagination. After all, I was half asleep-"

"It wasn't." He interrupted. "I really did say it."

Sakura's brain was caught somewhere between overwhelming joy, and complete and utter confusion. The muscles in her face seemed to have a life of their own, twitching between smiling and frowning, but ended up giving her the most bizarre expression that Sasuke had ever seen. He never anticipated that it would be so difficult to talk to a girl who was supposed to be his teammate. He had never had difficulty when explaining mission details, or conveying strategies to her, but everything was different now. Everything had changed. And Sakura seemed less distant than previously, yet she had become something else. Something alien to him, that he couldn't quite understand.

The creases in her forehead deepened. "You're thanking me for taking the nightmare away? That was nothing. Even Naruto could've done that."

When her eyes met his, she noticed how his expression had darkened considerably at her last comment, the black of his irises somehow darker, more mysterious in their barely suppressed anger.

"Naruto," He growled through gritted teeth, staring icily at her, "will not be coming anywhere near me when I'm sleeping."

She giggled quietly, amused by the love-hate relationship between her two teammates. Even though they were constantly yapping at each other like a pair of mad dogs, or bickering like an old married couple, it was clear to her that they shared a bond incomparable to anything she had seen before. However, as much as she admired the brotherly relationship that they shared, a splinter at the corner of her heart envied that kind of bond. Sasuke and Naruto were like two polar opposites that just exist, being neither good nor bad. They were yin and yang. Light and dark. Fire and Ice. And where was she? The twilight between? Purgatory? A leaf, caught between, having been licked by flames on one side and frozen on the other?

She was an unnecessary spare tyre. A third wheel. She was cold in her room with Sasuke. He was cold. Everything is cold. Her fingertips were cold.

"Sasuke-kun? Can I ask you something?"

"Hn?"

Although the words were dancing on the tip of her tongue, they were painfully difficult to say. "Do you get nightmares like that one often?"

If it were possible, she would have died already by the dangerous look he shot at her after hearing her words. She shrank back at his piercing glower, mildly surprised that he hadn't activated his sharingan and harmed her yet. It was clearly a touchy subject that he didn't enjoy delving into. She had seen that he already felt embarrassed, so she guessed that he would most likely be unwilling to admit to something like that. His pride was already threatened by her having seen his tears.

He shifted his head away from her prying eyes, muttering out a reluctant "Aa."

Well she certainly wasn't expecting that. Sakura's eyes lit up with delight, as she heard his unexpected response. Sasuke seemed to be opening up to her, finally, as if her wish from earlier had been granted. He was thawing. Melting from ice to water right before her very eyes. In her heart, it was such a wonderful, incredible feeling, similar to how she felt back in the tent, when she had combed his hair from his face with her fingers.

"All the time." He continued under his breath, scowling at her bedside lamp. Turning his head to her ever so slightly, he added in a low tone "You wouldn't understand." To Sakura, it was as if he were condemning her, judging and criticising her for her lack of a traumatic childhood massacre.

She grimaced and tried to pry him from his shell by prompting him further "But it helped…right? You know…me, messing with your hair and all?"

A stiff nod confirmed the answer, as Sakura blushed varying shades of strawberry pink. "I'm glad." She whispered, more to reassure herself than as a comment for his ears.

He was still as a rock, leaning in a comfortable enough pose opposite her, against the wall, and yet his pained expression and frozen muscles betrayed him. Her green eyes, still a little red from crying, washed over his form, taking in the sight of him. Underneath his cool exterior, his belly was crawling with anxiety, and as she analysed his behaviour, she knew that although he wanted to be there with her, his body was refusing to cooperate with him. He wished to stay and leave at the same time.

"At the time…", he began, again without meeting her eyes and pronouncing the words as though they were hell bent on staying fixed to his tongue, "At the time…I dreamed about her."

Sakura wanted to ask him "Your mother?" but she was afraid of disrupting his train of thought. After all these years, he was opening up to her, and she definitely wouldn't ruin it now.

"I saw her body again, and the blood." He hesitated. "Kaa-san did something similar in the past, whenever I had nightmares…It reminded me of that."

Black met green, as he finally locked his eyes completely onto her. No filters. No distance. No walls.

"That's why, thank you."

Sakura's eyes shone, pale green and large even in semi-darkness, only to lower to her feet dangling off the edge of her bed. All previous fear had dissolved, and when she smiled shyly, whispering a "You're welcome, Sasuke-kun" she looked bizarrely to Sasuke like a coral pink baby bird. Soon enough he'd have to leave the village, and he knew already that he'd have to leave Naruto and her behind. Everybody knew that it's wrong to pull a baby bird from its nest.

Lifting up and away from her wall, he turned toward the balcony doors in an indication of leaving. However something caught his eye. The clock on her wall. Strangely enough, time seemed fly by so fast within the last day, and already the time was quickly approaching midnight. He'd kept her awake for that long? How much time did they spend staring at each other in silence? He knew that it had taken them around most of a day to return to Konoha, and he had entered his apartment after training around six? Or maybe seven? A more pressing issue, was that as the time for his inevitable leaving drew closer, the number of nightmares had increased dramatically. Possibly, it was due to the stress of finally getting a start on his revenge, even if it meant that he'd have to forget about Team 7. But he'd found that the likelihood of experiencing nightmares was considerably worse when he went to bed at a late time.

He turned back to her, hoping that what he was about to ask wasn't too much of an inconvenience.

"Sakura?"

She leaned in his direction, pressing her palms into her duvet and frowning in concern.

"Do you think…?" He couldn't say it. It sounded so strange a favour to ask in his head. But if he went back, even if he'd settled things with Sakura, he knew that he wouldn't sleep at all, and waking every couple of hours with a cold sweat wasn't especially enjoyable.

"Do you think that I could…?" No, he couldn't ask it of her. It would be weird of him, if not even more embarrassing. Stupid thought. Stupid idea. Not to mention, highly inappropriate of him, and if his parents were still with him, they would undoubtedly disapprove. He began to leave once more, ignoring the heat growing in his cheeks and on the back of his neck. But it was only when he had grasped the handle of the glass doors, that his heart raced as she spoke.

"Of course."

Rather hesitantly, he peered over his shoulder, and was met by Sakura's kind smile. The kind of smile that he knew she kept solely reserved for him, even if he didn't quite know what she was to him, and where she slotted into his life. Although unreturned, it was the same smile that she gave whenever he was welcomed. A similar smile to how his Uchiha clan-members welcomed him home as he ran through the streets after shiruken training. Home. Maybe Sakura was kind of like that.

Hours later, as dawn broke over Hokage mountain, sunlight filtered through Sakura's glass doors and hit her closed lids. Light always seemed to pull you out of the darkness, just as it did Sakura, when she slowly opened her eyes, lifted her heavy head and examined her room. It was practically untouched. So much so, that she could almost forget the events of the night before, and even mistake it for merely a vivid dream. Except for one huge give-away. Beside her, Sasuke lay curled in slumber on the other side of the bed. Through the remainder of the night, she had woke countless times to soothe his fear and stroke his hair. He seemed to appreciate that, even though he had outright refused to crawl under the duvet with her – most likely it was a step too far for his tastes – and instead sought warmth from the knit blanket she'd provided.

Warmth. Warmth was everywhere now, because everything had changed. The sunlight that bathed her skin was warm, and her fingertips. As Sakura watched his chest rise and fall, his mind at temporary peace, she wondered how long it had been since he had slept so tranquilly, so restfully. And maybe, she thought, Sasuke was a little warmer too.


End file.
